Last night I was thinking, I haven't cried yet. I mean, when I went to church camp with Kelly last August I cried on the first night that I missed my baby boy. However, I've been here 5 days now and I haven't cried yet. It's not like I want to cry, it's not like that, I just think it's weird...

Anyways, I went to bed around 11:30/midnight and I had set my alarm for 9, 10, and 11am to get up. I had planned on doing laundry mostly, and organizing my room; I got up at noon. So instead I did the dishes from dinner last night and cleaned the kitchen. I mean, that's not a bad thing at all! Don't get me wrong! I still plan on doing my laundry, but I need to ask Kyna about the clothes sitting in the washer, so I might as well wait for her to get home, which isn't long since she gets off work in less than 10 minutes; it wont take her long to get home either since we live rather close to the commissary.

I ended up sleeping almost 12 hours last night, and I felt it when I woke up. I had the world's worst headache... it still hurts a little. But what really bothered me when I woke up was when I cam downstairs and saw that the damn dog got into the bathroom trash! There were half eaten pads strewn across the living room floor! I was like, WTFT??? So I cleaned that mess up and went in the laundry room (cause the light was left on) and found that the dog also pooped on the floor!! I was like WTFT TINK!!!!!!!! *sigh* oh well, I yelled at her and she was staying away from me for a while; she's all good now, sleeping next to me.

*sigh* I feel sick... My stomach feels wonky and my head is pounding... I really don't want to get sick... Kyna's been sick all weekend and it's just now starting to break up in her chest. Oh well, if it happens it means it was meant to happen, so I can't really complain much.

I do find it interesting that I ended up coming here. I feel so comfortable and content here. It is my goal, that by the time next semester starts, that I am a more honest person with myself and others, and I think being here will help me with that. I think that here I can get something of a structured life like I've always been lacking and wanting.

Anywho, I'm gonna make me something to eat for lunch and wait for Kyna to come home; she should be on her way home now.

Peace and well wishes
~Ashley

I woke up this morning to the sound of Linda yelling up the stairs "Bye! Love you!"

They were planning on leaving while Kyna and I were sleeping. I know it's hard on Linda, leaving her daughter here, but Kyna lives here now and she needs to be okay with it. As for grandma, she cries no matter what I say.

But now I'm sitting in Kyna's living room alone; Kyna's trying to sleep off a cold, Josh is working, and Tinker the chihuahua is most likely sleeping with her Mama.

I plan on, while here this month, taking TONS of pictures, seeing TONS of things, and visiting St. Louis and doing the same thing. lol I'm really excited since I've never been here before, and my photography-itch needs to be scratched... xD If I had had it my way, I would have stopped every few miles on the way here to take pictures; I LOVE to take pictures. I LOVE photography. I like to doodle too, but I suck at it. I actually take some really nice pictures, but I generally do only nature shots or animals; aka, I don't do people. I have taken shots of people before, but for some reason the prints just didn't seen to turn out just as nice as the nature shots taken in the same batch...

*ahem* Anyways, (sorry for the rant) it's weird to watch CNN and have them talk about things going on in the eastern time zone, were I actually live and have me look at the clock here and see I'm an hour behind. I think that, more than anything, makes me think I'm not at home. I mean, there's even a Fox 2 here with people that look like the people from Fox 2 Detroit. *sigh* oh well. I came here of my own will after all, and the only ride I had home for the next three weeks left just about an hour ago now; I'm here until my mother transfers the funds to my bank account. I'm here. I have a full back of cigarettes, $10, and a new Michael Jackson poster acquired from Spencer's in the mall yesterday. I have the clothes I brought with me, the package of Starburst my mother bought me, and myself.

I'm starting to doubt myself and my choice to stay here now. Sitting here alone, as I will while Kyna and Josh work, I feel oddly... alone. I feel sad, but not enough to cry. I feel small, and I don't know why. ... I feel like I need more coffee... xD (It's yummy coffee, it's Black Silk. ^_^)

I'll admit, though only partially willingly, that I miss my mother; it's not only her I miss though. I miss Zsk, Cheri, and Sarah, but I really miss my baby Sammy the most. I love him so much and it's only been four days since I saw him last but I miss him SO much. He's my baby, and I wish I could have brought him down here with me... He's my angel... My baby boy... *sigh*

Well, I'm going to check my Facebook, MySpace, LiveJournal, and Gaia accounts. I wish everyone the best day today and may God bless.

~Ash of the Divinity in Motion

We got here really late this morning, around 3am local time, which is central, i believe. It took a little longer than usual to get here, but it's all worth it so far. We woke up this morning and sat around for a bit, taking our time smoking and what not. When everyone was ready we all (grandma, aunt, great-aunt, uncle, cousin, cousin's husband and me) we all went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. It took forever, but we finally were able to stock their fridge full of food! GOAL ONE FOR US!! lol

So now I'm sitting here on the sofa watching the Mummy with my cousin's husband Josh. The base is really rather amazing. There's a movie theatre, the commissary, a gym (that's free to use), three pools, and all the military buildings are amazing. If you've ever been to Livonia, Mi then it means something when I say the base is as big as Livonia. It's crazy! There are so many houses and buildings and the roads are like normal ones. I never really knew what to expect when coming here, so this is all really cool to me.

I'll be here for a month, and in that time my cousin Kyna said that she'd like to take me to St.Louis sometime to see the arch, cause that would be WAY awesome. And as it turns out, the Amtrak track goes right through the base so I can catch the train here and take it to St. Louis and then board my train to Chicago.

Tonight we're having hamburgers for dinner, and I can't wait; I'm so hungry after all, I barely ate at all yesterday and last night. ...

Last night I slept on the sofa, since all the spare rooms were taken. Kyna and Josh have their room, Kyna's parents (my aunt Linda and uncle Brian) took another room, and my grandma and great-aunt Francis took the third room. But when everyone leaves on Monday I'll be taking over Linda and Brian's room, since it's the second biggest room here.

I'm sad to say, but I'm not sure how well I'm gonna be able to take living here for a whole month, though I love staying on the base. It's just that it's so different from what I'm used to that I don't know how to really respond. Everything is military style, of course, and it's nothing I've ever experienced before. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, but I'm looking forward to the weekend; with everyone here until Monday there will be enough humans around the house that I won't really feel lonely... for the time being. After everyone leaves Monday I know I'll feel lonely. I hadn't seen Kyna for over year before last night, so I'm not sure if we'll still get along like we used to. We seemed okay together at Wal-Mart, so I think we should be fine; but I've never lived under the same roof as Josh before, so that concerns me a little. I'm not very worried about it though, he seems really cool.

Well, I'm gonna enjoy the quiet for a bit before Kyna and Brian come back; they plan on making dinner so things will get noisey.

I'll check back in either later today or tomorrow sometime. I wish everyone well.

~AshKnight of the Divinity in Motion.

(woah, there's a Fox 2 in St. Louis that's just like ours in Detroit!! CRAZY!!)

I'll be leaving to drive in a little bit, so I wanted to update really quick.

I just want to say that I have my LiveJournal that I'll be updating daily while in Illinois and I'll be posting photos when I am able to. I like photography a lot, so I'm sure I'll have some good photos

I wish everyone has a nice day and please be safe.

I'll update when I reach Illinois later tonight.

~Love and Sweet Dreams

So tomorrow I'll be going away from home to visit my cousin, who lives at Scott Air Force base in Illinois; I'll be staying with her for a whole month and then taking the train back home. Both driving and taking the train will take at least 10 hours, and on the way home I have to change trains, and that makes there be a 4 hour layover.

This will be the first time I've traveled without immediate family members and the longest time I've spent out of Michigan. I'm kinda nervous.

Tomorrow my grandma will be picking me up and I'll sleep at my aunt's house. Thursday I'll be leaving my aunt's house with my aunt, uncle, grandmother, great aunt, and two dogs. w00t, that'll be fun. ... >_<

Wish me luck and I'll update with pictures from the base. (and the train ride home)